This is no time for flimsy, single-ply promises. Witty Yeti's military-grade wet wipes have your backside covered.
Our Tactical Tushy Wipes will get you back in action in no time (your dignity may take some time, though).
Specially Formulated for Extraction Missions.When you're deep behind enemy lines and the only way out is through, our wipes provide the heavy-duty cleaning power you need to neutralize the situation and retreat with your honor (relatively) intact.
For the Veteran of the Digestive Wars.You've felt the tremors. You've seen the warning signs. You are the few, the proud, the perpetually gassy. You know that hope is not a strategy. Preparation is.
The Tacos Were a Trap. I REPEAT: THE TACOS WERE A TRAP!The guacamole was a diversion, the salsa a sleeper agent. The mission has been compromised. Abort! Abort!
Zero-Risk Gifting.The ultimate crowd-pleaser for birthdays, holidays, or "I'm sorry about your bathroom" apologies.
Condition: Brownout.The lights are flickering. Systems are failing. You're experiencing a catastrophic loss of pressure in the containment sector.
When your intestines commit crimes against humanity, we bring the cleanup crew.We are the first responders for the war-torn region formerly known as your underwear. Our mission: restore peace, one wipe at a time.
Red Alert: Your Sphincter Has Betrayed You.It has abandoned its post. Gone AWOL. The perimeter has been breached by hostile forces. This is a full-scale, category-five plumbing emergency.
Is this actually a real product?These are legitimate, high-quality wipes, and that come in a convenient, pocket/purse sized package.