Welcome to the chaotic life of academic publishing. In this game, you are a clueless researcher trying to do the one and only thing that matters in your academic life: churning out publications, fast. You will publish useless nonsense, sabotage your colleagues' research, and provide unhelpful comments, Reviewer 2 style. Your goal is to gain as many citations as possible when the game ends, ideally with your sanity and self-respect intact.